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Sales Training Coaching Techniques

Sales Training Coaching Techniques: From Discouragement to Self-Care

In this sales training article, you'll learn how, in sales, to go from discouragement to hope; how to keep up your sales momentum going forward instead of lapsing into apathy or depression and how to change old sales ideas of what it means to hear "No".

For sales professionals, discouragement is an occupational hazard. It takes a lot of moxie to hear the word "No" again and again, even though you know there's bound to be a "Yes" coming eventually. Much of the sales game is a numbers game: you talk to many people and you’ll have several, or many, ready to buy just what you have to offer. But everyone gets discouraged once in awhile, and it's important to have a plan of action when discouragement hits.

Great salespeople, the kind sales managers love to have working for them, don't take the word "No" as a personal rejection. They don't believe it to be a sign of bad times to come or the start of a sales slump. They hear it and move on, always heading towards the "Yes" they know is just around the corner.

"Courage" comes from the French word for heart, "coeur". To become discouraged means to lose heart. This hopeless feeling has wrecked many a career, many a relationship, not because it in itself is destructive, but because people don't know what to do with the feeling when it comes. The good news: you can create a system of thinking and a way of treating yourself that effectively inoculates you against discouragement. Like the flu, you may still get it from time to time, but it won't devastate you.

Sales Training Tips: Causes of Discouragement

As a sales trainer and business coach, I’ve noticed in sales, discouragement doesn't always come from places that make sense. If you're extremely tired, physically or emotionally, you may mistake natural fatigue for feeling down about your work. Frustration and feeling overwhelmed can cause discouragement, as things pile up and it starts to feel unmanageable. Fear—of criticism, of taking responsibility, of facing new challenges—is a prime cause of feeling discouraged. And losing perspective, getting caught up in little troubles and forgetting your bigger vision, can be discouraging.

As a sales trainer and business coach, I’ve noticed discouragement can cause people to toss out things that have been important to them for a long time. Someone studied chiropractors who started their own businesses, then after some period of time called it quits and shut their businesses down. The people who studied this found that the chiropractors who shut down their businesses typically did it right before they would have been successful. The extra push it would have taken to keep going was just too much.

Sales Training Tips: Take Care Of Your Physical Body

What can you do about discouragement?

See where it's coming from.

First, check in with yourself physically. Have you been eating right and drinking plenty of water? (Did you know that even minor dehydration can make a vast difference in your level of energy?) Have you been getting enough sleep, or tossing and turning? Burning the candle at both ends by staying up late and then rising early to try to get extra work done?

Even if you've been getting eight hours of sleep, you may also need time for rest. Have you been working through the weekends?

Being too tired is discouraging in itself. Everything becomes more difficult, and it gets easy to lose perspective when you aren't properly rested and are still trying to accomplish your many goals.

Fatigue is often related to not getting enough exercise. In addition to the good things exercise does for your heart, lungs and overall appearance, it's also an important part of keeping your energy levels high. The less you exercise, the more likely you are to feel tired and anxious. Lack of exercise creates a cycle where you feel tired and move around less and less, always trying to build up the energy that your body can create for you if you take it for a walk.

A half-hour walk every day is minimal in terms of getting some movement into your life. If you can make it two walks or one longer one, that's even better.

Emotional fatigue is harder to combat than physical tiredness. If you've just ended a relationship or suffered a death in your family at any time in the past year; if you've changed jobs, moved into a new house or made any major changes such as having a child, your emotions have been overworked. Emotional fatigue shows up as depression, as feeling unable to get out of bed in the morning, but not being able to get to sleep when you're in bed at night. You may not feel like eating, or you may eat all the time and never feel satisfied. Your love life may suffer.

Emotional fatigue can be overcome, but it takes time, and you must be gentle with yourself. Plenty of rest, lots of time off, and quality time with yourself and your closest friends and family are in order. Releasing the extraneous tasks you've always undertaken may be another way to rejuvenate: take some time off from your volunteer work or social activities, and spend time resting and relaxing.

Sales Training Tip: What Is Your Mental Outlook?

If you're satisfied that you're taking pretty good care of yourself physically, it's time to think about habits of negative thinking that may be slowing you down. What we tell ourselves is even more important than what other people tell us when it comes to influencing our daily outlook. Frustration and fear can start negative thinking habits that then influence the overall approach to life.

Sales Training Tip: Are You Frustrated?

If you feel rested enough and haven't experienced any major life changes, you may feel that frustration is taking over your life. Things you want or expect are taking longer than you want them to; your office is so disorganized that getting anything done is a struggle; your appointments are so crowded together that you're always running behind.

If you're feeling helpless because the things around you seem out of control, take a whole day or even two, and get reorganized. People don't realize it, but being organized takes time and effort: it's as much a part of working successfully as the other parts of your job. Clean up your desk so there's room to move. Go through the mail and throw out the junk, deal with the bills and make a little stack of things you have to answer. If you're inclined to keep mailings with the idea of "reading it later" and find that you haven't read anything for months, sit down and read through the whole stack (if it's things you really think are potentially helpful), or just throw the whole stack in the trash. Tidy up your email too, making new folders and getting rid of the spam.

Frustration often comes along when the plans we make don't go right.
Charlie Gibson, an anchor on Good Morning America, said that a general told him, “Planning is essential, plans are useless.” Plans aren't magic things that make the world go our way, but they are ways of predicting what may happen and anticipating what our reactions will be or what our possibilities could be in a particular situation. That's why it's always good to have a backup plan, or Plan B.

Sales Slump Discouragement

In the same way that a gambler can have a "lucky streak", a salesperson may experience a sales slump. Both phenomena are, over the long range, tiny little deviations from the norm, but when you're in the middle of a sales slump, you believe you couldn't sell a box of Girl Scout cookies to a starving football team. Some people react to sales slumps as if they are indicative of worldwide trends.

They'll say things like, “This isn’t the same business it was 5-10 years ago.” Instead of a personal crisis, the sales slump becomes a huge thing that the individual has no control over. That's an example of the mistakes people make when they become discouraged. Only, the discouragement comes after you start believing that shoes or molasses or books just aren't ever going to sell the way they once did—last month!

People who don’t know the market are successful even when the market is bad. A well-known sales trainer tested a group of new sales people for a company. He divided the group into two groups, and both would get the exact same sales training, except that one group was told to expect to earn x amount of money- and the other group was told to expect to make twice that amount.

Here's how strong our expectations are. The group that was told to expect to make x did. And, the group that was told to expect to make double x did that too. The only difference was in their expectations.

Now, of course, if the market is actually drying up, you have to move on. You don’t want to have blinders on. If you’re trying to sell buggy whips today you probably are out of date. It may be time to sell a new product.

The Tough Love Approach

I have an associate who tells this story of being in a sales slump. It was so bad for him that when he walked into his office, his manager followed him into his office, closed the door, and told him that it wasn’t okay to come in and get that bad mood all over the people who worked in the office. He was never to do that again.

Then he said, “Let’s go get some coffee.” My friend thought, “Oh, that’s great, we’ll get out of the office, and I can tell him how bad things are and he’ll listen and I can get away from all of this the rest of the day.”

When they left the office, the manager drove to an industrial park and stopped. Then, he turned to my friend and asked him, “You do have your sales book, right? And your information, right?” My friend said, “Well, yes.” His manager said, “Ok, I’m leaving you here and you can sell your way back to the office. Get out.”

So, my friend walked door to door in the industrial complex and had sales conversations as he made his way back to the office. Some of his conversations were solid, some were awful, some people told him to leave, some people wanted to hear more. It was the usual mix of some interest, no interest and considerable interest. By the time he got back, he was out of his slump.

Sales Training Tip:
Moral: Sell your way out of your sales slump. Get into action
.

People aren’t sitting around waiting for us to call. They’re not thinking: “I hope they call me to sell me something. I thought by now they would have called and sold me more.” You have to go to them. It's like looking for love: if you stay home, what are the chances love will come knocking on your door? They're just slightly better than the chances that customers will call you and ask you to sell them something.

Sales Training On “Failure” & “Fear”

Sometimes you can do everything in your power and still lose. You can lose clients, lose your job, lose your spouse, lose your car. When you've done all you can, and still fail, it's natural and right to take the time and space to grieve. Feel bad, be sad, ask for help from your friends, coworkers, family, clients, God. It's amazing what you can weather if you have some support. Think about it, even in our sales slump story where the sales manager threw the guy out of the car, in a way, he was effectively supporting him. The sales manager dropped him in a place with lots of potential clients and he made sure that the sales person had what he needed to start working his way out of his slump.

But there are often people who aren't supportive, although they may at first appear that way because they will reassure you that yes, things are horrible and hopeless and no, there's not a thing you can do about it. They may even tell you not to go back to work, or that maybe you should go into teaching, or that that job never was any good to start with. These are the people you want to avoid!

Everyone is afraid sometimes; the essence of courage is in moving forward anyway. R.H. Macy, who started Macy’s long-lived and world-famous department store, failed seven times before his success. Abraham Lincoln failed two times in business and lost six state and national elections before he was elected President. Dr. Seuss, the children’s book author, was rejected by 23 publishers before someone accepted his book. THAT publisher sold 6 million copies.

Failure isn't the end of the world: it's what happens before you succeed! So, stay away from fearful people, and get yourself around people who believe in you and can cheer you on and know that big players often have big losses along the way.

Probably worse than actual failure is the fear of failure because the fear alone can stop you from going where you want to go. Other people sense fear and either feed on it, or run from it, so fear isn't something you want to take along on the job. Practice positive self-talk as well as speaking positively to others: when someone asks you, “How is business?” answer, “Business is great. Business is improving, and I’m going to work with you to make it better.”
Everyone gets scared sometimes. If you ask most people, they say they would rather be dead than have to give a public speech! We all have fears: how we manage them makes all the difference. So, if something big is coming up and you're really nervous, give yourself the time and space for a pep talk. Sit in your car or at your desk, and turn off the cell phone so you can concentrate on this pep talk. Tell yourself how great you are; relive old triumphs, and then promise yourself you'll do the best job you can.


Will Smith was in a movie with Tommy Lee Jones, “Men in Black.” An interviewer asked him if he was intimidated by his co-star; after all, Tommy Lee Jones is an amazing actor, and he's been famous a lot longer than Will Smith. Smith said that every morning, before he went to the set, he looked in the mirror and said to himself, “You’re the best, you’re great, you’re the best, you’re hot, you rock.” Here’s a guy already making millions yet giving himself pep talks. You can too.

Even when things are going just terribly, there are some things you can do to get on track. Having a friend who will let you cry on his or her shoulder, a real friend, can make a big difference. It's easy to forget in the rushing around of daily life that when it comes to the most important things in life, friendship tops the list. Get some support, even if it just means spending an evening commiserating over a pizza and a bottle of wine.

When failure rears its ugly head, it's tempting to just give up. We all think of it; going home, getting a law degree, starting a B&B. Anything but what we've been doing! But giving up tends to put you back to square one, and while sometimes (as in the case of the buggy whip sales) it's the best thing to do, usually it's better to regroup and move forward. When failure hits hard, it's time to get some perspective. Ask yourself:

Where will I be headed if I don’t take action?
Am I willing to live with that result?

Mostly, the answer is No. You're in a particular situation because of the eventual payoff. Fear shouldn't stop you. We're all afraid sometimes, but just keep on going, like that Energizer Bunny. If things are so bad that you have to hide under the bed for a day, fine. Hide under the bed, call your mom, eat a pint of ice cream. Stay home on the couch in your ratty chenille robe. But the next day, get up, get dressed and start making calls. Use the force of your misery to generate new ideas and renew your motivation.

Fearful thoughts make for negative self-talk, and when you tell yourself bad things, other people can catch that negativity. But everyone, and that includes your customers, has negative thinking happening a lot of the time. We tell ourselves we aren't worthy of making sales, of customers' trust, of wrestling with market conditions. We tell ourselves we're nobody; that we don't have what it takes. Everyone is afraid of being uncovered as a fraud, no matter what that person does. The kid who brought your doughnut this morning and the CEO you'll meet later in the week have the same fear of being found out.

One of the best ways to cure shyness is to teach shy people that most people are shy as well: it's just that some people learn better ways to cover it up. If someone who is really, painfully shy learns that the person she's about to meet is even shyer, she'll do her best to make that person comfortable—and forget about her own fear. The same idea applies to sales: your customers have their own fears; it's your responsibility to help them move beyond those fears. When you do, they will enjoy your company, and they will trust you. Help your clients feel good about being with you and they’ll be with you a long time.

Sales Training: Fear of Responsibility

Everyone fears responsibility. Everyone fears commitment. It's easy to worry about not being able to fulfill your clients' expectations. You can make responsibility less fearsome by setting realistic expectations. Don't promise to deliver something that will take moving Heaven and Earth to get. You're setting yourself up for stress and an increased chance of failing. Under-promise and over-deliver. Don't make a promise unless you are absolutely certain you can keep it. If you promise something realistic and then manage to do something amazing, your customers will be thrilled. If you set yourself up by making promises that you break, your customers will be dissatisfied. Angry customers create discouragement.

Let's revisit an important part of this discussion on discouragement; the attitudes of people who surround you. When you make a plan or have a great idea and want to share it with someone, more than half the people you know will find a way to knock it down. They'll say it's been done already, or it's not that great an idea, or the chances of succeeding with this plan are slim. They might even say that you won't be able to do it. Let's call these people the discouragement fraternity—the brotherhood of naysayers.

The discouragement fraternity is rarely filled with people who play a winning game. It’s filled with people who tend to lose. They’re not the players, but the observers, the Monday morning quarterbacks. They may be well-intentioned but they’re not helping. When they are family members, they may discourage you and then say, "I just don't want to see you get hurt". That kind of thing. You know who they are! Be careful whom you pay attention to and whom you reveal your heartfelt plans to. You have your own fears; don’t let others give you more.

Sales Training Tip: Don’t Let Discouragement Be Catching

Career and life coaches are supposed to encourage their clients, but among themselves, they can be very discouraging. They say things, like “don’t you think it’s hard to build a business?” I don’t ignore them, but I don’t engage with them. I’m not willing to lend credence to that way of thinking. As a result, I’ve always been successful at building and growing my business. In sales consulting and coaching business, conventional wisdom is that in a recession, we’re the first to go, being seen as a luxury. It's just not true! I have increased my income every year; it has never gone down and it never will until I want it to.

People deserve their dreams. Don't help the discouragement fraternity kill off your dreams.

One successful financial advisor says that when he's discouraged, he works even harder—he sees discouragement as a temporary setback that can be broken through the way a long-distance runner breaks through the tape at the finish line. When he gets discouraged, he takes a deep breath and gets very, very busy. This is the same man, who, after knocking on doors and being rejected time after time on his first day on the job, sat in his car and thought, "I can't do this". Then, he got stubborn. "If I can't do this, then who can?" He got mad, even, and he went back out there and knocked on more doors, and started hearing some yeses. That was ten years ago, and he's making good money and doing just fine. He still knocks on doors, he still gets rejections. But he knows that he will find the people who want to say "yes". He keeps taking action so that those yeses will come closer and closer together.

Sales Training Coaching Summary:

Discouragement:
1. Find where it's coming from.
2. Attend to your physical and emotional well-being.
3. Get support.
4. Avoid the discouragement fraternity.
5. Think and talk positively - create an upbeat mood.
6. Take action.


Decisive action will be rewarded.

Having a tough time getting from "I can't do it" to "I can do it"? Start with baby steps, by allowing the possibility of success. Start by replacing the negative statement with a hopeful one; "Perhaps I can do it". I call this the "perhaps bridge". It helps you get from a bad place to a better, more optimistic one. And once you can say, "Perhaps I can do it", it's a short step to "I can do it. Of course I can do it!" And remember, when you speak positively to yourself, you are creating positive feelings, which will result in positive action.

You can change the way you feel by changing the way you think.

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